A Blast From The Past

I was cleaning out my childhood closet and came across all my diaries through out the years. Being a collector of all things random... I have a dozen diaries that have several entries but I never finished them. So what is a person to do with such personal information like the first time I kissed a boy to my first bad grade to finding out that my dad has cancer. As I read pages and pages about my life experience I laughed, cried and dumb founded that what I thought was so important then doesn't matter now. I can't paper shred the entries and I can't give them away! So what is a girl to do with a bunch of diaries? So I just put them back in my closet and SMILED on how far I've come. I think it would be a really funny blog to post all the things from your childhood diaries. Mine would consist of I have a crush on Brandon. I'm sad that I didn't get sit at the pink heart table today. I'm glad I had those entries it shows me how much I've grown. Does anyone want to share what was in their elementary school diaries? :)

This is how I feel at the moment...

I had to take this picture at the grocery store last night. It explains exactly how I feel... Enjoy!

One of My "BEST"

Through the years there are people who surprise you! Simply because when you met them your sophmore year of college and it was their freshmen year you never thought you would see the day that you couldn't live without them! I'm talking about one of my very best friends Chelsea. She is outspoken and a fighter for all things she loves but especially a TRUE friend. She along with her amazing boyfriend Tres who is like a brother to me have been there for me through the my darkest days and have always supported me. I love how a one hour dinners turns into four with tons of laughter about who did what and wine. I'll have to blog about some of our wild adventures! I'm real with her she is real with me and in the words of the late Walter Cronkite "and that's just the way it is." SIMPLE, REAL, FRIENDSHIP.

You Can't Fail LIFE Unless You Quit!

I must admit I'm a sucker for... So You Think You Can Dance... because I know what it is like to chase a dream that seems impossible. Especially to doubters who think that you are simply day dreaming. I love the passion of each dancer that has a fire burning inside them that pushes them to continue the life long chase. I say life long because even though I've landed my dream I still run full speed ahead to get further tugging on every heart string and sacrificing lazy Sundays, weekends, holidays, friend's birthdays and the list goes on... just to land my next gig, just to make it. Is it worth it? I'm not sure but for as long as I can continue to help people by telling their stories then it is all worth it. Back to DANCE... I have a love for all things dance, its a language that is universal. I started dance when I was 3 years old and I stopped taking principle dance the year before my freshmen year of high school. I was devastated but I knew that I was not going to pursue DANCE professionally, so I had to move on. I took ballet, jazz and tap (Yes, I can TAP) it was something about the melody of the music and the movement that gave me peace. So when I watch the show I know what the dancers are going through because although our dreams are very different we share the same rejections, struggles and challenges. So for those who are dream chasers "YOU can't fail unless you quit."

Lemonade Just Got Sweet!

All things happen for a reason! I know that I haven't been chiming in as much as I used to but I'm back... Last night one of my very best friends encouraged me to write a book about my life and I'm considering it. Over my little weekend (Wednesday and Thurday) I went to my parent's house and then headed over to Sacramento to spend time with my love. Little did I know that he was going to surprise me with Beyonce tickets along with it one of my best friends Chelsea who drove all the way from San Francisco! Lately I've been handed a bucket of lemons and I've been slowly making lemonade adding sugar (Friends and Family) and I think I got it just right. But those very close to me know that the lemonade could turn into champagne very soon! I just might be moving to Sacramento! Cross your fingers for me! I've also been keeping busy reading cover to cover and re-reading Barbara Walter's book Audition and she is so right... everyday is an AUDITION... and I hope one day soon I will no longer have to Audition and I will be able to call a company HOME for many years to come!

In A Room Full Of People...

Only one will be chosen to go on...and that is what I was told when my dad sat helpless in the chemo chair and I was asking about his odds.I never thought I would write about this but... I've been inspired to. Yesterday I was on myspace checking my messages and comments and wanted to check on a girl who lived on my floor in the dorms my freshmen year of college.We were friends grabbing lunch-dinner at the dining center. We lost touch and would run into one another through out the city always making plans to catch up but we never made the time. Years later when college was all said and done...we reconnected through myspace after making the grim discovery that both of our dads had the same cancer just different type. Her dad has small cell (rapidly grows) and my dad has non-small cell (slowly grows)both have their advantages and disadvantages. It was devestating to both of us and I found comfort in knowing I was not so alone. She to had the same type of relationship with her father as I did so she felt my pain and we supported one another and offered prayer and positive thoughts. Then our communication came to a hault and I had no idea why but I just figured that she was busy with family and work, as so was I. But then yesterday as I was checking up on her I made the grave discovery that her father died.A man I only knew through pictures... But in those pictures I saw a great man,father and husband. I tried to hold back the tears my own father was just in the other room and I didn't want him to see me upset.I then became bitter and blessed all at once (and yes that is possible)Bitter that cancer has taken another life but blessed that my own father is thriving and doing amazing up against a fatal disease.The doctor only gave my dad months to live and its been over 2 years. My father has no idea but his cancer taught me a lot of things...and out of the lessons I learned the most important one is to cherish every second of life because it is truly a gift.I hate how they only call those who survive the disease survivors. I believe although her father has passed away that he is a survivor he endured a lot of pain and he fought to be here for as long as he could. Every cancer patient whether they are here with us or not in my eyes is a survivor.«F.S.» rest in peace in the arms of the Lord.

Dress Anxiety

So... The dress I just ordered from Nordstrom for the summer wedding is not going to work out! My bf's mom finally spilled the beans and gave me some direction on what I should wear since I'll be at the family table.The request is simple long,flowy and colorful. But for my body type and my height dresses like that are hard to come by without altering them. This is going to be a lot more complicated then I thought. But I'm glad she gave me some insight on what to wear because I didn't have a clue! So the mission is on...long,flowy,colorful dress or bust!

Rise and Shine!

It is Wednesday morning and I woke up at 5:30 am and I can't go back to sleep!But I honestly didn't mind laying around in silence watching the sun come up.Most of the time our lives are so busy we forget to take a second and enjoy the simple silence. I had a teacher in high school that did an experiment he asked all of us to take the first hour of the day and to appreciate silence and that I did it was hard at first not to listen to the tv or radio while getting ready but it allowed me to clear my head and not feel so stressed about what lies ahead. So I have taken the advice to heart and every morning I take a bit of "ME" time and lay in bed with my eyes shut and take in the beauty of silence.

A Dress For a Summer Wedding

I have ZERO time to look for a dress to wear to my boyfriend's older sister's wedding in July so I decided to do the internet route... and I'm glad that I did! Although the family loves me and they totally see me with their son, I'm still just the girlfriend. The title is great but not at a wedding where that title leads to the question "Are you two serious?" and they look at you and wonder if you'll be around the next time there is a reason for everyone that is important in my boyfriend's life gathers. So I was on a mission to find a dress that would be appropriate for the occasion and it's a thin line... I don't want to be to formal because I don't want people to think why is this girl so dressed up she is not even a family member and I don't want to be to casual because I need to make a lasting AMAZING impression. So I decided on this orange number that will look great on my skin and the cut will be good for my body type. I also can't resist the detail and pleating that makes the dress a statement.

The Climb

My song of the moment by Miley Cyrus...the lyrics speaks volumes to what I'm going through...

I can almost see it That dream I'm dreaming but There's a voice inside my head sayin, You'll never reach it, Every step I'm taking, Every move I make feels Lost with no direction My faith is shaking but I Got to keep trying Got to keep my head held high There's always going to be another mountain I'm always going to want to make it move Always going to be an uphill battle, Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose, Ain't about how fast I get there, Ain't about what's waiting on the other side It's the climbThe struggles I'm facing,The chances I'm taking Sometimes might knock me down but No I'm not breakingI may not know itBut these are the moments thatI'm going to remember most yeahJust got to keep goingAnd I, I got to be strong Just keep pushing on, cause There's always going to be another mountain I'm always going to want to make it move Always going to be an uphill battle, Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose, Ain't about how fast I get there, Ain't about what's waiting on the other sideIt's the climb There's always going to be another mountainI'm always going to want to make it moveAlways going to be an uphill battle,Sometimes you going to have to lose,Ain't about how fast I get there,Ain't about what's waiting on the other sideIt's the climb Keep on movingKeep climbingKeep the faith babyIt's all aboutIt's all aboutThe climbKeep the faithKeep your faith.

He/She? San Francisco Surprise

My short weekend in San Francisco was amazing! My boyfriend's 26th birthday went off without a hitch and he LOVED AsiaSf!!! Everyone that came along to celebrate had such a blast and couldn't stop talking about it. I also got to wear my giant flower headband and got many compliments from the male illusionists at the restaurant and from my love (bf). I was just so happy that I could surprise my him and do something for someone that loves me more then I could ever love myself. He said it was the best birthday ever! We spent two days walking around and just "being" and it was so nice.

I heart flowers in the hair!

I'm so excited for my upcoming trip to the city! We will be celebrating the boyfriend's 26th birthday. I've made dinner reservations at ASIASF and let's just say that everyone will be in for a huge surprise! For the big event I picked up a really fun big (HUGE) flower hair piece. I know... I know... I'm 25 but I thought that it would be perfect for the occasion! So I'm just wearing a little black dress with a huge pink flower hair head band. It's a little outrageous but we are going to a restaurant that prides themselves on male illusionist. It looks like the one that Kirsten Dunst is wearing but PINK! Dressing professional five out of seven days a week and feeling like I'm 50 in my suits make me want to cut lose and dress like myself on my days off! Watch out San Francisco...with my HUGE pink flower...here I come!

Things I LOVE....

God.Family.Friends.The Color PINK.Travel.Knowledge.Lazy Summer Days.Istanbul,Turkey.Love Letters. Rainy Days. Cupcakes.Heart to Heart Conversations that CHANGE your life. Laughing out Loud. Bargain Hunting.Baby Piglets. Movie Night. Quotes that Inspire. Dresses that make you HAPPY. The Beach/Forest. Books. Sleeping In. The Sunset/Sunrise. My Favorite 5 GIRLS. My #1 GUY. Rolling around in laundry right out of the dryer.SNOW.Flowers.Hand written notes go a long way.Monogrammed Initials. Respect. Honesty. Kindness. Beauty/Grace. Getting off the plane after a long trip. Exploring the path less traveled.Slow/Fast Dancing. Music. Getting Lost in Thought. This only scratches the surface of who I am and what defines me.


I'm Loving each second of life because I am constantly reminded that it is a gift that must be cherished and that "I" am only so lucky to be able to live,love,laugh and learn.

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

So I got to thinking of things that people may not know about me or they think they know... I admire Jackie "O" Kennedy not only for her beauty, grace, intelligence and especially her style. I admire her for a whole set of other reasons that people may not know. I admire how she was a very private person and kept her personal life and things that mattered PRIVATE. How she triumphed time and time again, with her head held high. I have always believed that someone's TRUE charachter is revealed in their darkest hour and how they handle it speaks volumes. She never said that she was perfect but never talked about her faults, she bit her nails and concealed the bad habit by wearing the infamous white gloves and as a result it turned into a fashion trend. Up until Jackie lost her battle to cancer she stepped out in her extremely large black sunglasses (now known as the Jackie "O" glasses) with a class off her own.

Every Second Matters

Time is never on my side especially when it comes to work. It's been a long time since I've been puzzled by a story but today takes the cake. When people say "it's complicated" today's story truly was. Explaining how much money tax payers will be coughing up in a particular case that has a ton of twist and turns is CRAZY! But I'm glad that it's over and even though for eight hours my heart was leaping out of my chest... it was all worth it. Since everyday is a new day and there are millions of untold stories, it makes the business all the more addicting.

Shopaholic

The movie is FANTASTIC! Make sure you see it late at night or you will want to shop until you drop after watching this! When my boyfriend saw the previews he said that it reminded him of me. I protested and disagreed but after watching the movie I realized that there were similarities... but one thing is for sure I'm not in debt. But I do love to shop and when I do see shiny brand new things it does give me butterflies in my stomach and if I want it I will find the means to have it. I work hard and no long play hard like my college days so a good shopping trip is what I reward myself. Okay...maybe I do need to check into a shopaholic's meeting! Anyone care to join me?

Book vs. Movie

Hands down the book wins! This book got me through the heart break and made me laugh so hard I forgot to cry. The movie was decent but it didn't have the same spirit as the book and one of the harsh lessons I learned from the book is that "there is no exception to the rule". The movie didn't exactly stay true to that message. The movie makes me want to go out by a copy of the book and save it for when I have a daughter so we can sit together and go over the fundamentals of "he's just not that into you." This book should be given to every girl at birth with instructions: Don't waste your time sitting by the phone, playing games and trying to read all the signs...plain and simple he's just not that into you.

Love Sweet Love

"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous." - Carrie Bradshaw Sex in the City

When people ask how I know he is the one I always respond "he loves me more then I can ever love myself". Through all my different layers... he is there time and time again to pick up the pieces and encourages me to keep moving forward. I've had my fair share of the many different kinds of fish in the sea and I must say I finally found the one for me.

The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side

Road Blocks

Living the dream is amazing but road blocks slow me down. I've come to realize the older I get that sometimes slowing down is not a bad thing. It's a chance to look back and reflect on life and just as I thought I was taking ten steps forward there is always something making me go ten steps back. I miss the good old days where life came easy. But I have come to learn that life is a true gift and each moment of every day is a blessing. I have traveled the world, lived outside my comfort zone and left everything I know to pursue the only dream I have had since I was a kid. I stop and ask myself the age old question "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" and the funny thing is I think to myself where I started... in a small town.