This is how I feel at the moment...

I had to take this picture at the grocery store last night. It explains exactly how I feel... Enjoy!

One of My "BEST"

Through the years there are people who surprise you! Simply because when you met them your sophmore year of college and it was their freshmen year you never thought you would see the day that you couldn't live without them! I'm talking about one of my very best friends Chelsea. She is outspoken and a fighter for all things she loves but especially a TRUE friend. She along with her amazing boyfriend Tres who is like a brother to me have been there for me through the my darkest days and have always supported me. I love how a one hour dinners turns into four with tons of laughter about who did what and wine. I'll have to blog about some of our wild adventures! I'm real with her she is real with me and in the words of the late Walter Cronkite "and that's just the way it is." SIMPLE, REAL, FRIENDSHIP.

You Can't Fail LIFE Unless You Quit!

I must admit I'm a sucker for... So You Think You Can Dance... because I know what it is like to chase a dream that seems impossible. Especially to doubters who think that you are simply day dreaming. I love the passion of each dancer that has a fire burning inside them that pushes them to continue the life long chase. I say life long because even though I've landed my dream I still run full speed ahead to get further tugging on every heart string and sacrificing lazy Sundays, weekends, holidays, friend's birthdays and the list goes on... just to land my next gig, just to make it. Is it worth it? I'm not sure but for as long as I can continue to help people by telling their stories then it is all worth it. Back to DANCE... I have a love for all things dance, its a language that is universal. I started dance when I was 3 years old and I stopped taking principle dance the year before my freshmen year of high school. I was devastated but I knew that I was not going to pursue DANCE professionally, so I had to move on. I took ballet, jazz and tap (Yes, I can TAP) it was something about the melody of the music and the movement that gave me peace. So when I watch the show I know what the dancers are going through because although our dreams are very different we share the same rejections, struggles and challenges. So for those who are dream chasers "YOU can't fail unless you quit."

Lemonade Just Got Sweet!

All things happen for a reason! I know that I haven't been chiming in as much as I used to but I'm back... Last night one of my very best friends encouraged me to write a book about my life and I'm considering it. Over my little weekend (Wednesday and Thurday) I went to my parent's house and then headed over to Sacramento to spend time with my love. Little did I know that he was going to surprise me with Beyonce tickets along with it one of my best friends Chelsea who drove all the way from San Francisco! Lately I've been handed a bucket of lemons and I've been slowly making lemonade adding sugar (Friends and Family) and I think I got it just right. But those very close to me know that the lemonade could turn into champagne very soon! I just might be moving to Sacramento! Cross your fingers for me! I've also been keeping busy reading cover to cover and re-reading Barbara Walter's book Audition and she is so right... everyday is an AUDITION... and I hope one day soon I will no longer have to Audition and I will be able to call a company HOME for many years to come!

In A Room Full Of People...

Only one will be chosen to go on...and that is what I was told when my dad sat helpless in the chemo chair and I was asking about his odds.I never thought I would write about this but... I've been inspired to. Yesterday I was on myspace checking my messages and comments and wanted to check on a girl who lived on my floor in the dorms my freshmen year of college.We were friends grabbing lunch-dinner at the dining center. We lost touch and would run into one another through out the city always making plans to catch up but we never made the time. Years later when college was all said and done...we reconnected through myspace after making the grim discovery that both of our dads had the same cancer just different type. Her dad has small cell (rapidly grows) and my dad has non-small cell (slowly grows)both have their advantages and disadvantages. It was devestating to both of us and I found comfort in knowing I was not so alone. She to had the same type of relationship with her father as I did so she felt my pain and we supported one another and offered prayer and positive thoughts. Then our communication came to a hault and I had no idea why but I just figured that she was busy with family and work, as so was I. But then yesterday as I was checking up on her I made the grave discovery that her father died.A man I only knew through pictures... But in those pictures I saw a great man,father and husband. I tried to hold back the tears my own father was just in the other room and I didn't want him to see me upset.I then became bitter and blessed all at once (and yes that is possible)Bitter that cancer has taken another life but blessed that my own father is thriving and doing amazing up against a fatal disease.The doctor only gave my dad months to live and its been over 2 years. My father has no idea but his cancer taught me a lot of things...and out of the lessons I learned the most important one is to cherish every second of life because it is truly a gift.I hate how they only call those who survive the disease survivors. I believe although her father has passed away that he is a survivor he endured a lot of pain and he fought to be here for as long as he could. Every cancer patient whether they are here with us or not in my eyes is a survivor.«F.S.» rest in peace in the arms of the Lord.

Dress Anxiety

So... The dress I just ordered from Nordstrom for the summer wedding is not going to work out! My bf's mom finally spilled the beans and gave me some direction on what I should wear since I'll be at the family table.The request is simple long,flowy and colorful. But for my body type and my height dresses like that are hard to come by without altering them. This is going to be a lot more complicated then I thought. But I'm glad she gave me some insight on what to wear because I didn't have a clue! So the mission is on...long,flowy,colorful dress or bust!

Rise and Shine!

It is Wednesday morning and I woke up at 5:30 am and I can't go back to sleep!But I honestly didn't mind laying around in silence watching the sun come up.Most of the time our lives are so busy we forget to take a second and enjoy the simple silence. I had a teacher in high school that did an experiment he asked all of us to take the first hour of the day and to appreciate silence and that I did it was hard at first not to listen to the tv or radio while getting ready but it allowed me to clear my head and not feel so stressed about what lies ahead. So I have taken the advice to heart and every morning I take a bit of "ME" time and lay in bed with my eyes shut and take in the beauty of silence.